The return of college football and the NFL coincides with a welcome return of various and obscure meats spreading their fiery aromas across carparks and fields, all, at the foot of America's great monuments [to sports]: The Lambeau Fields of America; The Horseshoe and The Big House. Cowboys Stadium. The Coliseum, The Swamp, and Beaver Stadium. These meats will then be sweat out without shame in the autumnal sun only to be replenished by America's favourite low calorie beer, Bud Light. Unfortunately, I am neither in possession of an incredible selection of golden meats -- they had elk on the College GameDay set in Eugene -- nor am I in America... but I did spend two Saturdays ago watching Tailgate Fan (YouTube Channel) for an hour and a half in preparation for weekends once again having a true purpose.
Now, before you criticise my late night Food Networking selection, know that I live for college athletics -- football, basketball, lacrosse, baseball, volleyball, ect -- and the NFL, so this week's Uni Survival Guide Special showcases how one can create a bit of tailgating magic an ocean away to bite at the heels of minute homesickness. Because, what's a Saturday without yelling "COCKS" a little bit louder than "GAME" with a bunch of intoxicated strangers? Or a Sunday spent wearing No. 2 jerseys for America's most famous backup quarterback, Johnny Football? It's the last ten minutes of College Gameday to see what mascot head a 79 year old legend puts on. It's Cris Collinsworth's nasally voice. It's Dallas finding a way to go 8-8... again. It's tradition.
I snagged this caloric gem after seeing it on one of the Tailgate Fan videos and it channels a bit of the The Vulgar Chef's "go get'em in the kitchen" attitude. It builds on the idear of getting as many different foods into your stomach in a single bite as physically possible.
(Fact: No one does game day tailgating like America.)
I snagged this caloric gem after seeing it on one of the Tailgate Fan videos and it channels a bit of the The Vulgar Chef's "go get'em in the kitchen" attitude. It builds on the idear of getting as many different foods into your stomach in a single bite as physically possible.
Don't know what this sandwich of sorts is called:
- 2-3... to 4-5 chicken tenders or mini fillets
- A handful of french fries (I went with crinkle cut)
- Marinara sauce (I went with some generic red sauce)
- Sliced or grated cheese (The more variety the better?)
- Long sandwich roll (I'm classy, used French bread)
"What is pain?" -- "FRENCH BREAD!"
Assemble that out-of-the-oven bad boy as high and as fat as you can. A general tailgating consensus is the bigger the better; there is no "over-the-top". There are no limits.
Part II: Let me also introduce you to WHY YOU SO MADDEN BRO?'s newest team for the 2014 Fantasy Football season, #LindseyDukesNewBF. Lindsey Duke -- #1 in hearts and fantasy draft boards across the globe, she'll carry me to victory.
#LindseyDukesNewBF:
QB - Andrew Luck, Alex Smith
RB - Jamaal Charles, Knowshon Moreno, Stevan Ridley
WR - Julian Edelman, Kelvin Benjamin, Brandin Cooks, Odell Beckham Jr., Doug Baldwin
TE - Eric Ebron, Martellus Bennett
D - J.J. Watt, Darrelle Revis, Richard Sherman
K - Steven Hauschka
DEF - Seattle Seahawks
I didn't want a mediocre team so I took Richard Sherman, and Knowshon has passion as seen by his National Anthem waterfall tears, and I like'em young apparently (4 rookies). Yahoo! Fantasy gave me a B Draft Grade and told me I have a problem, rolling the dice with seven "high risk" picks. I don't see Josh Gordon or Wes Welker on there... At least I wasn't the guy who drafted the retired Tony Gonzalez.
"L.O.B. -- we the best."
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Edit note: Learnt from the best.
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Edit note: Learnt from the best.
@a_gunzy I see that we taught you well! 243 pic.twitter.com/YtfsVujIlf
— Mary Allen Watson (@profsrimportant) September 6, 2014
